I’ve never understood
How I’ve always been so good
And they’ve never seen that I was just scared
How I rarely was denied
And always seemed to try
Unless something caught me unprepared

It’s this feeling of resentment that I can’t seem to escape
And the chance to fuck it up that I always want to take
I’ll make so many well-placed mistakes
Spice up my history with every pill I take

Being good was never good enough for me
Being a good girl don’t make for much mystery
Self-loathing, self-help and a little self-pleasuring
Is what gives a young lady a best-selling biography

I know I’d let you down
If I ever hit the ground
So I learned how to discreetly hover
Keep my problems perfect
The sort that will be worth it
Once I become that excellent daughter, mother, lover

It’s forming bad habits that I know that I can shake
Making little promises I know that I will break
Stay when I should leave, and leave when I should stay
Spice up my history with every woman I lay

Being good was never good enough for me
Being a good girl don’t make for much mystery
Self-loathing, self-help and a little self-pleasuring
Is what gives a young lady a best-selling biography

I could never be amazed
I could never be a disgrace
Playing out exactly according to script
Not too normal
But not too much of a performer
Just the right amount of insecurity to be hip

It’s soiling my own destiny with every move I make
Planning out the moments that I’ll let my façade break
I’ll be everything I hate
Spice up my history with each wrong word I say
Spice up my history with every breath I take